As the night approaches on the dying day, I sit in front of my computer in deep thought. How did everything lead up to this point? How did I get into my current position? I chew on these thoughts for a while, hoping the hamster starts turning the wheel, but alas, there is nothing. I believe the little one has run its course and decided to move on to more fruitful endeavours. It has moved on, knowing full well the nagging thoughts that lay beneath are what I am turning away from. Every part of me is screaming out to pay attention to what is bothering me, but I assure myself that it is all part of the plan.
Oh yes, the plan. How could I forget about it? Whatever the original plan might have been, it no longer resembles it, or even the plan for that matter. I decided many moons ago to become one with the water and see where it takes me. Now that I am in the clutches of a grizzly bear, I believe I have made a grave mistake, as things have not turned out the way I thought they would. However, I do not need to panic on the account that this is far from my first encounter with a vicious beast. Even so, I need to have a little chat with myself about the peril I seem to be throwing myself into on a too frequent basis.
Now, with any successful problem-solving method, we must begin with panicking. Wait a minute! That is not right. Even though I know this does not make successful problem-solving, my brain has other plans it wishes to execute, and I appear to be at its mercy for the time being. I am all too familiar with this dance, and I understand that I am about to descend down a spiral. Scratch that I appear to be falling down the spiral.
What do I mean? When I fall down the spiral, my mind gets cast into a quick and troublesome state of despair. Everything becomes a what-if scenario while I desperately try my utmost to cling to any positive thought that comes my way. I know that being in this state will only get worse unless I talk to someone about it. Luckily for me, I find the support I need and save myself from hitting the bottom.
I realise that when I catch myself early enough heading into the thicket, calling on someone can be a real lifesaver because we are not always the best candidates for pulling ourselves out of a mental mess. However, there are times when we can question these thoughts and stop them dead in their track before they turn into unruly problems that we struggle to contain. We must take a step back and ask ourselves if these thoughts have any rational basis. Lastly, we must ask if there is evidence to suggest the accuracy of what we are thinking.
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