What comes in the morning that has not already? As far as every morning has presented itself, it is mostly the same affair. The sun is out, brightening the day as it always does unless the clouds have something to say about it. However, even if the clouds state their argument, it makes little difference, as the sun remains in the same place without a hint of movement. The birds are out making their little noises, and sometimes, it is a loud commotion, far too early in the morning for my liking. However, even though I might state my argument, I will not affect what the birds do. Then, there are the people, noisy as ever while trying not to be, but they are also trying not to be quiet, so I take it for what it is – they are acting inconsiderately. Finally, there is my body, which does whatever it feels like on that day. Sometimes, I am in pain, and other times I am not.
For every morning that greets me, there is a strangeness within me that I cannot rid myself of. What is this, I wonder? If I were to describe it accurately enough, it would be a feeling of nervous energy with no place to go. What is this now? I certainly feel something else mingling with this strangeness that has decided to take up residence in my mind. It would seem I forgot to lock it up when I went to bed, leaving it open for emotions to waltz right in nolens volens without as much as a peep. What are you, a dancer? Listen here, buddy! My mind is not made entirely of space that you can treat like a ballroom, and I sure am no show where the stars dance in the pitch-black night above the clouds. You think it is a Sunday visit, do you? Well then, I thank you very much for paying me this visit, but the morning did not plan for your arrival and neither did I.
Seeing as how this mixed sweet and sour smoothy freshly made this morning has no one to sip on, I shall entertain and do some sipping, but I must let you know that I already feel so full, and so I can only have a little of you before needing to put you down. So, I approach cautiously and begin my culinary journey in the world of smoothies. My lips quiver as I put them on the chilled glass; I take a deep breath and begin tilting my head backwards ever so slightly as I start sipping on the smoothy. Mid-may into my small intake of liquid, I slam the glass down on the table, squint my eyes and render my face with immense displeasure. Hold on a second! I call over the waiter and ask who was responsible for this diabolical creation that now sits before me. Hesitantly, he states that I am the one who made that for myself. It is my mind, and all that originates from it is a product of my design. I perceive and judge through a series of my own choices.
It was my choice to spend the previous day thinking about matters that would bring about emotional turmoil; even before I retired to bed, my mind was rife with interesting ideas that would soon grow into healthy trees with deep roots. Where are the loggers when you need them? I guess I have to do the hard work. Now, where did I leave that emergency axe? That is right! I left it behind the sofa of dreams in case of an invasion. One must do their best to protect those precious dreams. With axe in hand, I take to those pesky trees growing inside my home and let them know that I did not want a tree house, as I am not Tarzan and do not do what Tarzan does. If I could swing from the branches of the trees, I would let them grow as they please, but my strong arm is still yet to recover from its traumatic experience fighting the fierce tiger of the jungle known as life. Even though I come out second best, life knows to be careful when it trifles with me.
After a few days of toil, I finally look at my handiwork, and I believe the results speak for themselves. I traced the mixed feelings to their roots and pulled them right out of the ground. In the process, I found my old self of 10 years ago, right when I was on the cusp of 20. The fire I had back then was unlike anything else, and I have now reclaimed some of that warm, burning flame. My feelings were about the bygone era I was pining for but had no idea how to get back. It was an uneasy feeling as I was gazing at my 30s with hesitation, but I no longer do because things in my life are falling into place. It did not happen overnight and was taking place in front of my eyes, but I never took notice because I was too focused on the negative parts that never worked out without realising that what had not worked was giving way to what was going to work.
Never give up or give in because what you want and need might be around the corner!