Well, here we are. I was on the dark side of the moon with my previous blogs and have since received a reminder that light still remains in this world. With that in mind, I suppose it is story time for the morning or night, depending on where you are on Earth.
A few days ago, a lovely soul invited me to go with them to a market hosted at a botanical garden. Usually, I would not make my way to such events due to the onslaught of people that flock there, which does little favour for my social anxiety. To be a little more blunt, I do not handle crowds very well and find myself on edge with a sudden inability to deal with conversations and interactions of any kind. Even the crowds make me very nervous, and the looks of people who take it upon themselves to stare into my soul make me rather uncomfortable. Despite this, I decided to accept the invitation and immerse myself in a situation outside of my comfort zone so that I could grow and get over this nagging anxiety.
The weekend was upon me in the blink of an eye. One moment, I was enjoying my Monday, thinking about the rest of the week, and the next moment, I woke to the rising sun of Saturday morning. It was time to get ready for the coming day. I rushed through most of the morning at lightning speed, and when the clock made its way slightly past 11 am, I took my necessary deep breaths and left the house in my car. The drive to the botanical gardens was a standard affair, with the slightest enjoyment derived from driving in a convertible car with the sun fully allowing me to experience the beautiful radiation it offers.
When I arrived at the gardens, my mind was only focusing on finding parking, which thankfully took mere seconds as my anxiety decided that the first available spot on the grass beside the road was the singular prime location that needed my wheels on it. After I parked my car, it was time to meet with the soul that invited me there. After saying hello to everyone while looking like I just climbed out of the shower due to all the sweat my body was producing, it was time to make our way to the market.
While on our way to the entrance, everything appeared to be ordinary with no sibilance of there being hundreds of people walking up and down throughout the market, but upon making our way past the ticket stalls, it became all too clear that the place was almost at maximum capacity. Upon seeing this, my body was screaming out for me to leave, but I refused to give in, as this would be the perfect time for me to grow and push myself to get over my social anxiety.
While forcing myself to stay, my senses were in overdrive. I was operating at maximum capacity, with my anxiety forced to its ceiling. I was walking around and keeping myself from falling apart at the seams. There were people who were rubbing up against me and coming far too close for comfort, but despite all that, I survived and ended up enjoying myself more than I thought I would.
After enjoying myself at the market and the company of those around me, I walked away from it with the realisation that being in a large crowd is not as bad as I made it out to be and can be rather enjoyable. I have also realised that there is little much to worry about being surrounded by people, as people are generally concerned about their own lives and not necessarily mine.
Loading ...