I must remind myself when the day is devolving into a complete mess that it is merely a day that
will soon pass. It is just a single day in an entire month; what is that in the grand scheme of
everything? First of all, how many bad days will pass until I realise that I’m lying to myself? One
too many bad days have now turned into an entire two weeks. A bad day for two weeks is no
longer a single day in a month but a grand total of 14. What on Earth is going on with me? If I
keep this up, I will have a bad day every day for the rest of my life. I’m a pessimist, so I surmise
that sounds better than having good days for the rest of my life. Wait a minute! That does not
make me a pessimist; it makes me someone who enjoys their own suffering. Wow! Such
revelations! Yet, the enjoyment I should be having is non-existent. Then again, if memory serves
me correctly, this supposed enjoyment has been hard to come by throughout this life of mine.
Secondly, what is this grand scheme I and others speak of? Have we been working towards
something greater than ourselves that I’m yet to know about? Wait a minute. I get it! It refers to
how life is organised or in consideration of everything within this life. I suppose – when we
consider all of life, these little things that pop up are so minuscule in comparison. I realise that
we must make this comparison so that our problems, obstacles and bad experiences don’t
seem as bad as they are, or is it to make them appear more realistic? Whatever the answer may
be, it sure boils down to perspective, which is a choice that rests with us.
Even though I might grumble about how these bad days have led to weeks, it is untrue to think it
would last a lifetime. Even if I might be in the thralls of anxiety at the time, that leads me to
conclude that I’m cursed with such a fate or how superstition would lead me to believe I was
born with bad luck and nothing else. That is right, I still remember the money, which was in my
hand then was gone minutes later, only later realising I must have dropped it without noticing.
That couldn’t be, as the bad luck clearly manifested itself in my ability to always step on dog
landmines for my entire childhood life. I’m grateful I didn’t join the army, as I would be dead by
now if I did, as I would be that one guy who manages to step on a clearly visible mine.
If I’m to be honest with you, the whole day couldn’t possibly be all that bad. It’s just the souring
of my mood throughout the day that makes it feel like that particular day is a write-off. Sleep
cures these ails of mine, but the day is in ruins, and sleep is hard to come by. You know, when a
day is in ruins, so too is sleep, as discomfort seems to be the order of the night when I lay my
head down to sleep. I cry out as to why on Earth am I uncomfortable when the previous nights I
was perfectly fine. Tension has found its way into my muscles because stress has been cradling
me the whole day, mixing that with a mix of bad emotions, and you have both body and mind in
chaos. So, I decided to meditate and calm my mind. I find respite from both tension and stress.
Sleep eventually calls my name from the line I’ve been waiting in, and I soon find myself drifting
under while keeping a bit of hope I still have left that tomorrow will be a better day.
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